Be Yourself to Avoid Hurt

When you are trying to get someone on free online dating services, and or hook up with someone, it’s rather normal for you to get nervous, and sometimes even resort to doing crazy things that you think are needed, but in-fact, aren’t. But you need to ask yourself, when you are attempting to impress someone you like, which are you better off doing? Just be yourself or put on an act of someone you aren’t?

Putting on an act:

A lot of people that put on an act would probably argue that they aren’t really putting on any act. Some use the excuse that they are simply putting their best foot forward, and you know, maybe they are speaking the truth, perhaps there is SOME truth to this, but no matter what the fact to this is that it’s hard to ‘keep your best foot forward’ all the time. And no matter what! When you always put your best foot forward, whether its on purpose or not, you will always be hiding your character flaws, and flaws are needed to be known in a person.

So, Don Diebel, who is a singles expert, has said that to be fair to your free dating profile, or would be date, you should really just be yourself. But why? Why be yourself? Well, Consider it like this:

You are out on a date with a fantastic girl that you really really like. So you try to impress her and you get her to fall in love with you by being caring, romantic, attentive, funny and witty. So you keep this going until she is really into you, and then you can’t keep up with yourself and the real you shines on through. And so, you are no longer trying to impress the lady you fell in love with and had fall in love with you too and thus you are no longer trying to win her over. So now you are no longer being caring, romantic, attentive, funny or witty and all that good stuff. This is very much unfair to the girl you made fall in love with you. The reason it is unfair to her is because you made her fall in love with a guy who was pretending to be something he wasn’t 100%, someone that you aren’t really. You risk the girl leaving when you worked so hard to win her over like a cheat. You need to be yourself, she can love you for who you are too, you just need to be YOU first.

So, good luck guys and gals, be yourself always.

More Vacation Ideas for You and Your Partner

I hope you already checked some of the tips for a great vacation we’ve presented recently, and maybe even tried some of them. Here are some more ideas and tips which will make your vacation an unforgettable one.  If you haven’t read part I, you can check it here.

16. On vacation is the worst time to let out an unpleasant surprise. Make sure you both know any dark secrets well in advance. Don’t want to mess something up.
17. Id you don’t know how to swim, let them know but perhaps try to learn as well. Shows devotion, truth and honesty all in one!
18. If you like to drink, make sure you don’t drink too much on vacation, it leads to arguments, fights and nothing you want.
19. Don’t even think about flirting or checking out other people when on vacation with your partner, if you do I hope they slap you!
20. Always do things together, and teach each other new things.
21. Give each other some space though, yeah its the first vacation together, yeah you love each other but space is still needed, you need it too.
22. Talk!
23. Pick the romantic looking places to eat and dine. But if needed, compromise!
24. De-selfish yourself. There is no room or space to be selfish.
25. Stay humorous and open minded. Being jealous or even possessive isn’t good.
26. Relax and entertain your partner. No home or life worries here!
27. Don’t even think about going places when your partner is tired, spend that time to cuddle and relax together.
28. No matter what happens on the trip, you will both display hidden traits that you didn’t know about each other. Take it as part of the experience.
29. Only do things that you can both afford. Don’t put each other at a financial risk ever. Money problems are bad. And don’t nag each other to spend more then they got.
30. I’m not telling you to do so, but if it feels like the right thing, pay for the trip in advance yourself.
31. But if it also feels right, split it.
32. Remember the vacation is meant to spend time together and get to know each other even better. Remember that on your trip.
33. Don’t start criticizing on how much your female partner may bring with her on the trip, if she wants to bring hundreds of clothes, let her. It’s fine.
34. your first vacation together is not your honeymoon, keep that in mind, you can vacation before that.
35. Don’t let things get out of hand or worry you too much, its a vacation!
36. Lastly, it is as much your responsibility as it is as much as theirs to make sure that you and your partner has so much fun that it is the perfect holiday and vacation it can possibly be. So don’t blame each other for things, don’t get mad or anything. Have a great time.

Good luck everyone and have a great time!

Being Elusive: Key to Certain Dates

Here is some mental thinking here for you guys and gals. The truth is is that by being too available you don’t look as appealing as you can. Think about it, what things that aspire you. Perhaps good clothes? Name brand jewelry? Expensive cars, watches or boats? Whatever it is, the fact here is that the things we want the most in life are usually the things that are least likely to ever be gotten. These things are seen as worthwhile because they are rare to people, unless you’re rich. But that’s the key here, rarity. The less we can get something and the more it’s held from us, the more we will want it after first need or feeling of desire is made.

That which is unobtainable to us is seen as all too sweet, Johnny Depp to Brad Pitt, we can always dream but we can’t have it. And that’s the point of the article I’m writing for you today. When you go out to date you need to not be so available. Get off the phone where you’ve been most the day and stop being available all 24 hours of the day and start looking like you have other things to do then just be open all the time. The reason for this is as I already stated, if you create a need and remove it the desire factor just falls through the roof.

The only problem with that piece of advice is that it’s very very difficult for normal people to do normally without problems. At that moment where we finally meet someone that we really liked and stuff, we stop playing games right there. We want to be with them all the time, we want in their presence 24 hours of the day, when you wake up all you think about is when you are going to see them again. As good as that sounds, and as true as it may be, our date MAY not see things the same way and then boredom can possibly sink in. By being too available we dramatically lower our own attractiveness. We are officially less rare which makes you more common and not as desirable. But before I go on, remember, this is all a chance, I would assume this is how the average dater thinks, not ones that really want someone or are new to the free online dating services. It’s the ones that know if you were to break up they can just find someone else.

Being enigmatic and elusive is what we need to train ourselves to do when we need to, and stop being AS available. I read once in a different article of a bartender in New York. He was a good looking man, would always attract the girls, but when it came down to it, he never seemed to get anywhere after the first few dates with girls. He really was a lovely guy and was probably the most reliable man you could have ever met. At this point he really wanted to know why the ladies seemed to just lose interest in him, they would stop calling and just stop seeing him. Now, keep in mind what I said up top, these girls or girls that date regularly as if it were some sport, not ones looking for serious relationships. So he did an experiment to see what would happen. He decided he would not call the females he dated, only once but that would be after the girl called, and even then he wouldn’t reply unless it was late. They would leave messages and pp into the bar he worked at to see him but he would make sure he never offered to make new arrangements for the two, he would let the girl suggest and make them. He was letting the woman chase him. What he did was maintain their interest levels, and discovered for this type of girl he had them chasing him. He became elusive, he had that air of mystery about him, he was now someone these girls wanted to get to know more, he was a challenge.

I myself, honestly speaking, never actually had this happen to me. I was looking for a lasting relationship and I found one, and usually the worst place to look for those are bars and clubs. I now have the love of my life and I never once actually dated anyone else in my life and I’m happy for it. One of them ‘love at first sight’ things for the both of us. But what you don’t want to do is make yourself too available to the point you learn the hard way. Meet a wonderful girl, it looks like its the perfect match since the moment you two meet, so much that you just toss the dating rules out the window and wing it. Spend weeks together with barely any breathing room and it all stop suddenly. She then wants to call things off. The reason is because you were WAY too available to her, you were there every time she opened her eyes, you altered how you were way to fast and way to soon, way too quickly for things to have worked out. You were there for all the right reasons but still, she needed space whether she knew it or not, and you were never out of that space, and thus you lost the girl.

So when you finally meet someone you like, you need to get things started of course, but make sure you still keep to your normal schedule and not be available every day. If you are free and open two days of the weekend, make one for you, one for your date. It’s really all about just making sure you got time for yourself, and your date has time for their self but still have time for each other. Don’t call all too much, resist the urge, and don’t always answer your phone, but make sure you got a nice activity list to tell your date next time you guys meet up.

In the end, the time apart will make things stronger, and eventually you can slowly close the gap to be together forever! Once, that is, you figure out your date is looking for a lasting relationship, if they are and it was that type of bar person, this is the best way to do so. But from my own experience me and my girl never had ‘together too much’ problems, because we love each other.

Pre-Date Preparation Rules, Part II

Here are some more tips from the list we started to discuss earlier about what you should bear in mind while getting ready for your date. Don’t forget to check part I here.

• Although you don’t want the woman to think your rich or you’re some player, you should make sure your shoes are sparkling or just clean. You should also make sure you remembered accessories such as a nice belt, wallet and watch. Sure they don’t seem to matter much to you, but they speak volumes about you, which is sometimes important.

• Don’t play in your head over and over that this date has to work. Totally get rid of any feelings like that. Despite what you think, it doesn’t, it’s just a night out, and that’s all it will be until things get more serious over time. If things work out in the end of the date, that’s awesome, good for you! But as I already said, you need to not stress yourself, relax and be cool. Your date will spot any signs of desperation on your part, and this can be used against you. This is why before you arrive on a date, you should do everything you possibly can to make sure you feel relaxed.

• Being the guy, it’s really up to you if you wish to bring flowers along with you. Sure it’s nice but remember she’s gonna be holding them all night on the date, lugging the things around, and make sure its not a lot.

• Whatever you do, don’t think you are going to ‘tango’ with your date, on the first date, before you even know anything about each other. Any real smart person would know ‘tangoing’ is a very sacred action between two people that are supposed to be super close before even thinking about doing, if either of them try to pull moves that indicate they want to ‘tango’ you need to realize this person is attracted to your body, not you, and that’s how EVERY relationship crashes and burns. Sure it may be great at first but you will see your life decline and you wont feel loved like someone who loves YOU would be able to provide.

• while you bathe, if you decide to bathe and not shower, take that spare time to come up with some ideas as to what you would like to ask your date and perhaps funny stories you can tell your date. No matter what, a date is about getting to know each other, so questions are normal, and awkward silences suck. Just picture the person you are going to meet and ask the questions in your head, may be easier to  handle when the real time comes and come out more easily.

• Even this early on in the free online dating services stage, just like ‘tangoing’ you need to remember there’s no way in heck that you ‘love’ this person after the first date, you may like them, but it will take a lot more time together before those feelings become real. So stay away from being foolish, if you say ‘I love you’ they can easily use that to use you.

• Keep in mind that communicating is less then 20% verbal. While you try to be cute don’t send the wrong vibes to your date. If you try to hard it might come across wanting something, and do I need to repeat the whole ‘tangoing’ talk again? We are adults now, so don’t act childish. Watch just what you do and how you do it and you can avoid problems. I’m not going to sugar coat this, main reason males rape females is because they expose themselves or they give them the body language they want to ‘tango’ because they were trying to be too cute, and the female is like ‘Woah what?! No! I didn’t mean that’ and for the men with little self will, will not take that nicely. So be careful with just what you do.

First Vacation Ideas and Tips for You and Your Partner

The time has come where you two are together for good and its time for your first vacation together, well now what?! It is one of the most stressful things you will end up doing, up on the stress list with moving, childbirth and death. Now, not wanting to scare you off with that, it’s stressful in a sort of good way, like when you want to make sure everything is perfect and there’s no mishaps. Expectations will be high, you both will be having some sudden doubts on the decisions you two made on the subject and once you get to where you two are going there will be only the two of you to focus on. You will be surprised just how fast it will turn into the perfect vacation the two of you will probably ever have, unless you do it again of course, but it’s really up to you two just where the vacation goes, it may end up being the worse if you two make it so. Being together alone in some foreign place will polarize the thoughts and behaviors. It can easily put the spot light on the smallest worrying traits you and your partner has and it will put every fine detail into the light of how well you can plan things.

Once you two actually check into where ever it is that you’re staying, this is when you two will find out just how you two behave as a couple on their own. You may want to think the night will be full of ‘tangoing’ as you two lay on the beach at night with some wine, or maybe you two will get flight sickness or car sickness and spend the time sick! Maybe you two will enjoy tans or sightseeing, but no matter what, if done right you and your partners love and romance will blossom stronger than ever.

You need to remember that a great relationship comes from planning together, some adjustments as you go on, tons and tons of compromising and a great sense of humor. Do all that and you will be sure to come out with a successful relationship. Relationships ride on compromising together at all times, if you don’t that leads to fights, you don’t want fights. But if all fails, its best to fail now then after you get married.

So here are some ways you can lower your stress levels, follow the tips and you should be fine.

1. The first vacation together would be better is it is just an extended weekend in another city, explore, see new cultures and dine on new foods.
2. When you two decided on a place for your first vacation you need to make sure its a group effort, don’t decide for your partner, you need to do it together to keep it fun.
3. Don’t rush having a vacation together so soon. You need to time it just right, spending a vacation together after the first date is dumb. Understand what I’m saying?
4. Keep your expectations at a realistic level in advance of the vacation. Don’t expect a few days of heaven, you will only be disappointed .
5. Got to make sure you are good at tolerating things and are open to suggestions and compromising.
6. Remember that a vacation is to relax, and that includes when you are arranging it.

7. The final destination needs to be one that you are both very comfortable with. A one sided vacation will end in disaster.
8. Once again, you need to make sure you don’t go on vacation too soon after meeting, you need to be pre used to the person you are going to be spending this time with, and know for sure its someone you want to spend the money on.
9. Before leaving, make sure you two talk in large amounts. It ensures you two are on the same page and at the right understanding levels.
10. Make sure you keep up with your niceness and compliments after the vacation as well, being someone else on the trip will turn your partner off. Stay yourself.
11. Make sure you are well packed personally and make sure you are well prepared. Don’t expect your partner to take care of everything.
12. Make sure the room you book has a double bed, not twin beds.
13. You need to make sure you know SOMETHING about the destination before setting everything up, making sure you can surprise your partner is important.
14. Make sure you two talk enough to reveal any doubts your partner may have, and reassure them through the whole thing.
15. When on vacation make sure you show each other how much you care for each other, the rest of the world doesn’t matter when on vacation.

Pre-Date Preparation Rules

TribalDating is a list I made for those getting ready to go on their date. Here are things you should keep in mind and do. Just make sure no matter what it is, don’t over do it (unless it’s being nice or a gentleman). Remember them, they will do you some good.

1. When you go out to date, you need to make sure you keeps things in perspective. It’s only a date boys and girls, not like your life depends on it or something, no matter what you may think. It’s only a date, yeah you don’t want to screw it up but don’t overdue it either.

2. You need to give yourself enough time to get ready. When you decide to get ready, don’t make it ten minutes before the date time, give yourself time to shower and think of things and then get ready, a speedy ready is a sloppy ready.

3. You need to make at least a small effort to look nice, don’t appear looking like a hobo (no offense to the hobos reading this, honestly). Not only will that give a bad vibe but come on.. would you really want to look like that? You also need to make sure you know ahead of time what you will be wearing, don’t chose at the last minute. Never rush on a date.

4. Before you go on a date play some nice music that will get you in a great mood. Feeling energized and great is an important asset to have on your date. And maybe do some good deeds to mellow you out, let a sibling borrow something or if you’re an adult maybe figure something out that can get you in a mellow mood. Feeling good and nice is important.

5. No matter where you are going you need to make sure you know for sure where you are going and what time you need to be there. When you know that, plan ahead what time you will start getting ready. Then make sure you know how you are going to get there and how you plan on getting back, if you don’t drive, book a cab. Never accept a ride home from your date.

6. If you are going to make yourself smell good, go with quality aftershaves, colognes and perfumes only. Make sure you don’t over do it, you need to really make sure you don’t. Sure YOUR nostrils may not be able to smell your half bottle of your cologne or perfume that you decided to bathe in, but I can assure you, your date will smell it, and may not be able to see you very well through your vapor cloud of smells. personal dating services goes for both genders, the stuff is strong, use little bits.

7. You need to give yourself some time to think of what you two will be talking about on the date, as well as what things you would like to avoid. Remember, don’t make it an interview, it should never feel like an interview, putting someone in that situation is a bad thing. However some of the same rules apply, it’s still not. Preparation is very important.

8. This one is mainly for women, but men should too just in case. You should always tell a good friend or family member where you are going on your date, who you are going with and make sure you carry a cell phone and always follow all the best online dating services rules that apply for dates. It’s up to you to make sure your safety is kept safe. It’s your responsibility and no one elses, if you are foolish with it, expect nothing good to come of it, ever. Keep your head on straight.

Online Dating and Scams: Knowing it Before It Happens

Getting scammed in the online dating game is very real. And it’s even more so true when it comes to the free online dating sites. More often then not these online scammers will target the daters that are lonely and single. They will usually send them flowers and gifts that they bought with what is probably a stolen credit card. Unfortunately many lonely women fall for these tricks immediately. They believe that they are in love after getting a gift, only because how lonely they felt. When the time comes, the scammer will convince the girl or even girls who are crazy about these ‘men’ who they think they love and they think loves them, and ask the girls to go them a favor for them.

And, once again, unfortunately scammers sometimes target certain groups to scam. Mainly Christian singles. Christian singles often believe that they can trust other christians, having a false sense of security online because of this. Not saying that’s a bad thing though, trust is something the world needs more of, but the scammers will use this to their advantage. No matter who you are, you can be a target.

One of the ways you can determine whether or not you are dealing with a potential scammer on an online dating site is by reading the messages they send you. Examine them. Are they hard to understand? Perhaps not making much sense? Vague? Would you get messages back from them as soon as you sent one out, even though they had no idea you were even on? Are the messages badly written? Grammar off the fritz? Do their messages ever change in tone or style? These are all red flags. Another warning would be if emails appear to be generic responses, as if cut and pasted.

Finding someone online that seems very interested in you and likes to ask questions about you is great, but you need to make sure they can speak about their own family and life just as easily and fast as you, if it takes them time to tell you, they may be making it up! If you speak and give out a lot of information about your own life, but find that the other you know barely anything about, you may be dealing with a scammer. The second they ask you to wire money, cash orders, re-shipping packages or setting up a paypal account for them, you know for sure they are probably a scammer.

No matter how good or plausible their story may sound to you, and no matter how heartfelt or sad their messages seem, don’t do it. Be sure to always report abuse to the online dating site where you met the scammer. Just so the site can prevent other folks who are more gullible than you were from falling for the same scam they almost got you in. There are actually some websites that were made for and by victims of scammers, where the visitors can share the photos and information about the scammers and their experiences with them. So when you think you are in the middle of a scam, don’t hesitate to call them out for what they are and spread the word about any questionable encounters you may have had. But don’t let this get you scared, not all free online dating services will be full of scammers, just like you, there are real people on those sites as well looking for someone. But if you want to go the extra mile go to a pay dating site. Sure it costs money but there wasn’t one case I heard of about a scammer on one of those sites.

Opening Lines

Do you know what the phrase ‘dating approach’ means? Perhaps what a chat-up line is? What ‘free online dating services’ means is when you find yourself walking up to someone you have never met, or at least believe you never met, and then you start speaking to them as a introduction of yourself, in a hopefully romantic way. This is also called a chat-up line, so those two are pretty much the same. Now, the first few words you speak to this person is going to speak volumes, more volumes and even more volumes. In less then 15 seconds you will either be going home alone again, end up with a definite date or even have set yourself up with the girl of your dreams for life! It is pretty simple, or at least it can be simple. It’s said that a person will make up their mind or judge a person and keep to that judgment within only a few seconds, and if you are a honest person I think you will agree completely when I say that we know pretty well if we are attracted to someone or not within the first few seconds of seeing them. It’s the same for everyone else.

Now, here you may be thinking that if that is the case, why the heck bother speaking to the person in the first place? How is it at all important what you say if they would have already judged you? Well, sure, we may like how someone LOOKS but that’s not all there is, and we know that, in a relationship. At this point in time the looks will be confirmed and underlined heavily by just how they approach us, what they say, how they say it, how their voice sounds and possibly an accent if they have one. Think of it this way, the person looks hot but he trips on the way there, says something that makes no sense, sounds like a chipmunk and then smiles and their teeth are all yellow, bad breath, that sort of thing. I think even the most handsome guy or cutest girl you would lose interest in after that. So, what I’m saying here is that by initiating communication with the person, we form judgments pretty quickly. I’ve written an article before about how much of a role confidence plays in attraction, and this will most certainly play a part with this subject we are talking about now. You see, the more confidence you got in your dating approach, or chat-up lines, the more likely that your opening lines, despite what they may be, whatever you may say, may have some effect in a positive way. We are all human, so we all understand that making the initial approach can be very very nerve wracking and spine tingling to many. This is also a reason free dating profile is a great way to start. You don’t actually walk up to the person and see them and all that. It’s easier to make connections online because that judgment in the beginning doesn’t exist online. A dry mouth, palpitations, stuttering and stepping over your own words, no idea what is going on in your mind, no idea what to say to the person. This is all part of the dating game, but its just as much a part of the problem. But you won’t get that online. Keep that in mind.

Now, many of you may have heard the whole theory that there’s tons of attractive men and women out there that ARE single, but you never approach because the assumption here is that they as so hot, or attractive, that they have got to be attached to someone, and not single. And so no one talks to them in the flirty way that would normally land a date. Although in some cases this may be true, its more often then not, not true. No matter how pretty or hot someone may be, we all love chatting with new people, and more likely then not, again, people just simply lack the confidence that’s needed. The verbal dexterity one needs to talk entertainingly isn’t a most. You don’t need to entertain who you are talking to. Despite the fact you may think you need to, you don’t need to make them laugh or anything.

Now, I said that last thing because it’s often said that women are attracted to the men who are witty and amusing. Well, what I say to that is how often do you see a woman with a shirt that says ‘must have a good sense of humor’? Yeah, probably never. It’s true though that a good funny opening may be a great way to assist in the whole opening approach, however… I recently read in a survey taken, that the group of women would most like it if the man just took the normal approach to dating, instead of trying to be a comedian. They don’t want to date someone great at stand up comedy. In reality, its not WHAT you say, but how you say it that really matters. And actually, for a lot of people, opening lines do seem to work for them.

But to others, like public speaking, people find opening lines to be stressful, very stressful even. Before I go on though, these people think they NEED an opening line. You don’t. These people end up coming across as an aggressive and probably foolish person. Simply because their anxiety levels are through the roof. When they are under this much stress they tend to just bottle up and are unable to really communicate as they would have been able any other time. And this, my friends, is where the practice of self confidence comes into play. And its amazingly easy to practice! All you really need to do is be more social. The more sociable you become the more confident you will be in your ability to communicate with other people. And that includes on dates as well. And as I say in most of my articles, don’t mix dating with alcohol. They never turn out right and are never as good as they can be.

If you are the type of person who thinks having a rude, or even crude, opening line will land you any date you want, you’re dead wrong. I don’t think I’ve heard of one story where it did work, to be honest. A simple request to buy the person a drink will half and half get a positive response. People that are getting hit on prefer a more direct and open handed approach. To break the ice and make talking a freely flowing thing between the two, one needs to stick with the tested and true methods instead of seeking the worlds top notch comedy. Even women use these catch lines as much as men. Sure they not be the same kind we do, they take a more direct approach, but no matter what a line is still a line. But when it comes to a women using a catch line to get a guy, using such a catch line will land them much more success then a guy can ever get.

So, it would be useful to look up great opening lines and even bad opening lines. The point of an opening line is to get their attention, and more often then not they are meant to be amusing. But please keep in mind, they aren’t needed. Simply asking if you can sit next to them or asking to buy them a drink works a lot better. It all really depends on your past with them and their past with them. Good luck guys and gals. And gals, don’t keep waiting for guys to approach you!

Friendship in Dating

When it comes to making new great friends, free online dating services is one of the best friend makers and finders there is. One thing I recently read in a different article was that everyone should try to make at least one new friend every five years, but I would suggest maybe three years. But either way this advice is really great when you think about it. Look at how we were when we were younger. We would collect friends so fast like it was nothing. We had tons of them. But as we got older we would lose some, if not most, along the way. It’s just how it is, you get older you have less time for everyone and differences become apparent. We all change and we all adapt to life, we end up with a core group of our best friends, which tens to be a very small but very reliable, close and trust worthy group. It’s safe to say that there’s always a big chance that we won’t ever have more then a handful of extremely close friends as we get older. This is due to what I said before, more so time related then anything else at the adult age. You got work and a life and all that, things to take care of, you don’t have enough time to have more then a handful. Best friends require maintenance and we don’t have time for too much of that.

When dating creeps up on us on its own (which means you two didn’t get together for a date, you simply met) it comes in its simplest baby form, which is just introducing us to new people or a new person. How it works is we meet people on a one to one basis to just talk, chat, and discuss whatever the reason we met in the first place, whether it was work or needed to meet the parent of your kids best friend or something like that. Doing so basically lets us find out mentally if we get along well with this person to be friends. What you have in common, what you can carry a conversation about, if you share similar views on some things and seeing if you two can become friends, maybe on a daily talk sort of level. The problem with going directly into dating is that it skips this step, it shoves you straight into the fact you two are trying right there to make a match. To become lovers you should be friends first. This way you aren’t just attracted to their figure or face and all that, you originally start off attracted to them for who they are, what goes on in the head is what makes them who they are. And, no offense to anyone, when it comes to friends you can easily be a friend with the ugliest person alive and feel normal because you know you’re all just friends, but this is the point you figure out what you are attracted to in a person more so then just the body. Do they agree with your beliefs on things? Perhaps make you laugh? Make you smile? Feel good around them? You would be surprised what you may fall in love with when you are friends first. Being friends first is a very great start to any relationship.

If that whole factor is missing, being the laughing, feeling good and all that jazz, we tend to say we aren’t meant for that person to be our friends, let alone be our friends. But the thing is that every date leaves you with another friend, assuming you don’t be a real butt hole to the person. We make new friends more then you may think. Now of course you people may be saying that you aren’t looking for another friend. Well, we can all do with an extra friend every now and again. Sure, our closest best friends are usually the friends we had since childhood and that we shared our lives with, but once upon a time you never knew them too so who’s to say a new friend may not end up in the tight knit group? So what I’m trying to say here is that nice people are hard to find anymore, don’t just pass them over cause you have ‘enough friends’. You never have enough no matter what. Never enough positive people to hang out with.

I in no way is suggesting that we just gather all our failed past dates and deem them all our friends and that’s that. No, what I am saying is that out of all you have dated there has to be someone or two that you clicked with, that you know is a great person and would like to hang out with. They may not be your perfect match but they may be your perfect friend. Heck, after hanging out for a long time maybe you will slowly start seeing them as your perfect match after all. So please try and always keep an open mind. At the end of a date perhaps let them know or suggest that although you don’t really think you two will make a good couple together, perhaps you two would make great friends and to stay in touch, and then actually get in touch and do things together as friends would. Don’t make empty promises and just not contact them after you said you would, but always make sure you let them know that there are no strings attached, make sure they don’t think there’s still a chance if you know there isn’t. That’s leading them on for the wrong reasons. It’s heartless.

Always keep in mind and remember that the best facets of any great relationship is the friendship between the two people. So many times have I heard people say they would love to marry their best friend. Your partner should always be the closest friend you got. Whether it starts after dating or it was in fact your best friend, it should always be your best and closest friend in the end. Someone you can rely on, trust in everything and all measures, turn to when you need to talk or need someone to make you feel better, that’s what your partner should be, and that’s a best friend. It’s something everyone should keep in mind when getting serious with finally getting married and all that great stuff.

In the end, when you think about it, dating it all about just making new friends and then falling in love with them after that. It’s about forming close bonds in a short space of time and then building it on that. This, for example, is the reason why the relationships all about getting ‘physical’ tend to fail and end up in hurt or diseases even. There is no hope without being friends with your partner before, during or after. It’s just amazing the sheer number of couples that became couples from being best friends with each other ends up as lovers in the end. I have heard of some amazing true stories about people who were best friends at first and ended up as a married couple, and still goof off and all that as they would have, just with a new sense of closeness. It’s by far the BEST way to go when you want someone you can be with forever and already know how well you guys act and are together.

Nowadays its a fact that dating has become nothing more then some organized subject where people even made stupid dating game rules, like that dumb waiting thing. The things that made dating touching and romantic and nice are slowly being lost from society. In order to love a person you need to trust this person, to trust this person you need to open your heart to them pretty early on and to take this risk that’s involved. To open your heart is to show the willingness to trust, and that’s needed. The willingness to make the person you find your friend, for trust and friendship to be the building blocks of every proper and great out coming relationships and thus there are no quick paths one can take to eternal happiness. You need to date and make friends, make friends then fall in love with one. Never go in blindly and expect you two to be romantic from day one to your dying day and get married and have kids and all that. You need to make them your friend no matter what. Good luck guys and gals.

10 Things to Bring on a Date.

Here I comprised a list of tips of things you should always take with you out on a date. No one likes being without something they wish they had. It can ruin a date and possibly something else. It’s always the little things that count, so make sure you got these things on you or with you just to make sure. You will be thankful the second you need them, and then you will remember back to reading this article thinking how silly it all was! Haha! Well seriously, do it. Listen to the tips. You will be glad you did.

So, here they are guys and gals. The list I made up just for you!

1. Always remember your wallet, your purse or handbag. You need your money or credit cards. Just because it’s the males job to pay the check, you don’t want to force them into paying because you brought nothing. That shows poor taste and it’s just mean. Bring your own money just in case.

2. This one other articles stressed as well. Always bring your mobile or cellular phone. It’s a dire need for you ladies out there. It’s an essential security device in case something bad was to happen. You never know what may or may not happen. If you need to call home fast in case of an emergency or call a cab real quick you will wish you had a cellular phone with you to have used. You can also arrange family or friends to call you at certain times to check up on you, if you let it ring then they know something is wrong.

3. Having a piece of paper with the directions and address of the restaurant or whatever location you are going to be meeting together at, as well as having your date’s cell phone number if they have one. This will allow you to pull your way through those embarrassing moments where you’re lost and got no idea where the heck you need to go and maybe make a copy and leave it at home or in a friends possession so that way they know exactly where you are in case something happens. Safety first!

4. Having a sense of humor on you at all times is very important to dating. Sure it’s not something physical you can have on you but it’s still something that you can have with you. If it’s one thing that can really ruin any date in existence, it would be the inability to laugh or enjoy yourself on a date. If you go out on a date in a bad mood, that won’t make your date feel special in anyway, you need to clear your mind and be open and happy on a date. It’s needed for a good date.

5. For the male, bringing a flower to your pretty date would be a great touch for you. It means more when they know you were thinking about them and that you bought it rather then just pluck it out of your neighbors yard. They would love the flower, even if they aren’t flower likers. And it would be a great touch when they tell their friends or family how the date went.

6. If it looks like it’s about to storm. If it looks like it recently stormed. If you see it might storm on the news and if it IS storming or it just got done storming, bring an umbrella! There can’t be much worse, other then the apocalypse maybe, to have gotten all ready for the date, which maybe took hours, only for some phantom rain shower to ruin it on you. Don’t let the weather beat you. And this holds true after the date as well. Don’t let the rain ruin a great date. And it will look awesome if you whip it out when it starts to rain and you two ‘huddle’ under it together.

7. You need to trust as much as you use common sense on your date. Split it in equal portions. One must always trust a little or you will only fool yourself as you ruin your life, but you must also use common sense when it comes to a date, if something doesn’t feel right, keep note of it. But you must always keep in mind you can’t accuse one unless they are proven guilty, so they are innocent until then. But still, if your gut reaction is telling you to get out of there, it may be best to do so for one reason or another, it may not even be your date. Keep an eye, and common sense open will allow you to spot dangers that may be lurking about, if any at all. It’s all about safety and always will be.

8. You should think about carrying a pocket diary or notepad as well as a pen on you. More so if you’re the guy. Not only will this make you look a little more organized and professional, which are good things, but it will also allow you to arrange that second date together, in case she needs to see the address, and you can even use it to write her number in. And do us all a favor and don’t have it full of past dates numbers and junk, that will turn them away no doubt. If you are through with them, rip the pages out.

9. If the date happens to be some kind of event that requires you to have tickets, make sure you get these tickets in advance and make sure you have them with you. Trying to get into whatever it may be that you need tickets for, without tickets, can end up badly for you, your girl/man, and of course your date will be looking really bad at this point. So do your date a favor, and possible future wife/husband, and buy what you need to buy in advance!

10. Protection, need I say more? You shouldn’t even be doing it but I know how people are. So please, bring protection…

And lastly, my friends, you need to make sure that you didn’t leave your personality at home. It’s who you are! You need it! Sure the first date may be a little daunting, nervous and all that jazz, but it is no excuse to forget who you are and how you act. Too many people feel like a date is too much that they totally just.. forget who they are until the date is over. That’s when one thinks back and goes, “ Doh! I should have said this and that like I wanted to’. See what I mean? You need to stay cool, relaxed, have fun, know hes/she is feeling nervous too, just have fun, have a great time, make sure a conversation keeps going and you should be fine. You don’t want to appear to be some kind of robot person or someone that sucks the fun out of anything they do. Sure shy is cute but being yourself is cutest! So, don’t forget yourself. And always remember safety first. Good luck guys and gals! if you want to need more advice click on free online dating services